The Ultimate Selfish Act
by What sweet music they make
Summary: Bella Swan, tired of her abusive boyfriend, kills herself. She wakes up to something she never imagined: A handsome death spirit, there to guide her in the afterlife. BxE
1. Prologue See you in Hell

_Just letting you guys know, I'm perfectly happy. Not suicidal, just morbid at times. This story shows zippo amounts of my feelings.  
_

Prologue

_This is it. _I thought causally. I was actually going to do it. I'd had enough of this, of everything. I clutched the knife in one hand, running my fingers across the edge with the other. _I could just kill him...No! He'd just haunt me, night and day. Like he does now. Only worse, so much worse, _

I reread the note I'd left, making sure my intentions were understood.

"Dear Charlie,

I'm sure you've found me now. Well, obviously if you are reading this note. This is just to say, I'll miss you. Truly. I don't give a shit where I'm going. I'll still miss you to death (No pun intended). I understand if you hate me for this. But can you do one little thing for your daughter? Get him. I would do it myself, but there's no way I could do it. Either way, everything is going to end like this. He is just too powerful. I can't give too much away, just know: You were right about him.

Love,  
Isabella Marie Swan

P. S. Show this to _no one._"

I hoped Charlie would understand from my note and what I wanted him to do. Taking a deep breath, I held the dagger above my head. I said my final words, sure to inspire many; "Goodbye, ass-hat. See you in Hell, Mike.". I plunged the blade straight into my chest. The worst pain imaginable, my end was near, everything was so dark...Losing consciousness...pain worsening. Then nothing. Total darkness.

**A/N Okay, that was just the prologue. Don't worry, the actual chapters will be longer. By the way, I hate making Mike the bad guy. I really do like him, it's just...he's the only person that was believable for being...you know. I mean, having an abusive Tyler, Eric or _especially_ Emmett or Jasper just wouldn't work. Like it, love it, delete it?**


	2. Welcome to the Club

**Okay, I added this because only having the prologue up made me paranoid.**

**Chapter 1**

My eyes fluttered open and I saw a incredibly handsome guy in front of me. His bright green eyes bored into mine. He spoke, "Finally, you wake up! It normally doesn't take that long.". Puzzled, I cocked my head to the side.

"Uhh...what's going on?" I wasn't in Hell, but this certainly isn't Heaven. I looked about. Oh my God, I was _floating _above my hometown, Forks. The lights were on in many houses and there were some people walking around, though I was too high up to recognize their faces. It was dusk and the sun was just barely visible, even from the air. Forks had the most beautiful sunsets. It was wonder I would be able to see another one.

"Okay..." He checked a piece of paper he had been holding. "Isabella. I'm Edward and you _do _remember what happened, correct?" Well, yeah. It's hard to forget that you freaking stabbed yourself. I just nodded, though, and Edward continued. "Miss Swan, you are now a death spirit. Welcome to the club. You're going to be a here a while." Wha!? Okay, this was NOT what my parents had been telling me for the last seventeen years.

"What about Angels and Demons?"

"Great book. I heard they're making it into a mov-"

"You know what I fucking mean." I narrowed my eyes at him. Edward held up his hands in apology.

"My bad, okay. I thought you had a sense of humor. I was wrong. For the first time, of course." What a jerk. He laughed at his own joke then finally answered my damn question. "Angels and Demons, Heaven and Hell, God and Satan all exist. We just don't get to see them yet. Well, basically, here's the low-down. Suicide is the selfish. Very selfish. And you committed it. However, had you not and died at the same time of something else, you would go to Heaven," My eyebrows shot up. All my life I heard from my grandparents that I was evil and that there was no way I'd be an Angel. This was, to say the least, a shock.

"Uh-huh. Go on, please."

"Okay, like I said, suicide is selfish, but it was not enough to make you go to Hell. So now, you're here as a death spirit. You'll see what we do later. Any questions?" Way to rush the ending, Edward.

"Yeah. Uh, are we 'death spirits' forever?" I didn't know about him, but I wanted to see the pearly gates someday.

"Nah. There's something we have to do though. Some secret thing. The second it happens, we're in."

"Aw, crap. I suck at logic/puzzles and that shit. Well, I'm in Limbo for all eternity. Just freaking great. Next question; Are you a death spirit too, like someone that committed suicide or just some guidance counselor sent here by the big man upstairs or even worse: I really am in Hell and you, dear sir, are my eternal punishment. Don't lie to me." His eyes got wide. No wonder Mike hit me; I'm a bitch.

Edward regained his composure. "Why yes, I was sent here to torture you forever. Okay, no, I'm lying. I committed suicide and blah, blah, blah, we'll talk about it later."

"Alrighty. One more thing. Do we sleep and eat and, you know, use the bathroom."

"We sleep and eat, but don't use the toilet. Honestly, there's no telling where our waste goes. Perhaps all the poor souls in hell are shoveling my shit right now." Wow. What a way to spend forever. "Would you like to see where we stay when not doing our spirit-ly duties?" I nodded and Edward led the way. That was when I noticed he had wings. _Do I?_ Oh, yep. No wonder, I've been hanging out above Forks. _Okay, time to try these puppies out._

**A/N Don't worry, it gets better. Much better. And yes, I meant to have almost everything explained in the first chapter. It's not because I can't write, it's because Eddie-kins here is like a supervisor or manager. Tell me what you think of the story so far!**


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